My run, my way...

Jus did my 2nd 10km run on e treadmill...tot of dg a relaxed run budden i still cudnt stick to a slow n steady speed mainly cuz pounding away on e treadmill with no scenery wadsoever to look at is pretty boring.. Shaved off abt 3 n a half mins off my previous timing....so 63.5 mins, ard 660 calories burnt. Jus downed half a can of Coke light, i cud do a Ricola Aaahhhhh ad nw cuz tt shot of Coke was REFRESHING though i've nvr been a fan of Coke..haha,,was a virulent Coke n soda hater at one time even. A gd n satisfying run, I'm feeling contented. Nw for more horrifying updates on e killer tidal waves....68,000 dead n counting...sigh...e biggest humanitarian relief project in UN history, wad a bang to end 2004..i knew tis was an evil yr...

The morn after...Tsunami horror

been keeping track of channelnewsasia these few days...reminds me of those times back in 2001 when i was oso glued to channelnewsasia coz of e 911 terrorist attacks... Hw ominous tt this killer wave episode tt hit Asia wud date exactly a yr to the Iran earthquake tt took place in 2003, hmmm.... seems like disasters always seem to strike at e end of e yr, it jus needs to add tt devastating touch to a oredi devastated yr? hmmm..wad am i tokking abt? 2004 has been relatively peaceful? haha..seems like e world nvr reallie enjoys much peace nowadays....ever since 1997, if i can rem correctly...all e financial turmoils then oil crisis, e fight agst terrorism, ahha! I rem nw...2004 has been a terrible yr with rgds to the weather conditions...lotsa floods, snowstorms, heat waves n of cuz natural disasters...

Call me ignorant...i often cannot understand hw waves can wipe off entire villages...i felt e same when my sec sch sci tchr told us abt this family who went boating in e vicinity of the Niagara Falls...n then they fell into the waterfall n were crushed to death by the thundering waters...i was incredulous...n nw even as experts come forth to testify tt e force of those killer waves equals e impact of several atomic bombs, i guess i'll nvr be able to truly understand e magnitude of the tsunami until i'm in e midst of tt situation itself...i hv no doubts it'll be horrifying, esp given my phobia of water...okie nt water..but rather e deep waters...ocean, sea...Saw e special prog of channelnewsasia explaining wad tsunamis were abt, there was this documentary filmed yrs ago on the killer tidal waves tt hit Japan in '46 n '60 n they oso covered e Hawaii tsunami detector system. Read e news tt day n seems like there's no such system in Southern Asia, unlike tt in Pacific Ocean..no wonder, it's costly n guess e possibility of a tsunami striking was too minimal to account for such high costs incurred....e dark result: 63,000 deaths n still rising..

enuff on tis gloomy topic...been sitting my arse off at hm without dg any running for a few days liaoz...eh, okie, 1 day onli actually..shud i head off for a run nw or ltr...okie, ltr....nw back to e irritating CORS system..

sucky yr..

jus a few more days before I bid final farewell to e suckiest yr ever in my 22 yrs of life...can't wait....2004 sux...n for someone's info, i abhore sneaky pple...tt's carrying juvenile behavior to e extent..yeap n the tsunamis was jus e last gloom n doom item on e blacklist of 2004..

Found my peace....at last...

Here I am, sweaty, stinky n weary, plopping down in front of e laptop e moment I stepped into my rm, Din even bother to remove my training shoes...8 pm nw...one n a half hr of escapade... Wad was originally a weary attempt to snap out of e lethargic mode i had been trapped into being stuck in e claustrophic confines of my hall e whole day plus a desperate bid to escape e tone n pitch deaf Xmas carollers who were gg frm floor to floor in my hall turned out to be a truly beautiful experience for me...

I changed into my running gear (jus a flashy word for sloppy shirts n plain shorts) n off i went, reached e carpark, heard e horrible choruses of those deluded carollers, grimaced n set off. It was relatively early for my run n i decided to run towards pgp, hit e most winding roads in sgp n then up e steepest slope in sgp as well to reach Kent Ridge Park. Running along e deserted trail with e lush forestry surrounding me was a tranquil experience, one i enjoyed much cuz i felt harmonious with Mother Nature n ever closer b4. Saw a cute little squirrel which I initially mistook to be a rat, i'm horrified of rats, those ugly grey rodents with long, slimy tails..Tis mite of a fellow was so small, hee, sis told me e other day tt she spied a squirrel during her run too. Lucky me...finally reached e foot of e intimidating ascent. Jogged for a short while b4 switching to walking mode as the slope was simply tearing my knees inside out. As I reached e summit of e park, that wonderous view of e sea, e harbour, those ships sailing lazily n e birds flying ard jus took my breath away. It has been such a long, long time since I visited tis place.

Tis was e first time ever tt i was here alone, given those treacherous slopes, I onli came here with Ric previously. The scenic view n privacy of tis park made it a natural choice for lovers' rendevous n of cuz, there were quite a few couples ard me bt i din wish for anyone special to be with me. At tt moment, i din feel lonely, i had found my inner peace at last, i sought solace n i found it, right tt veri moment. Some pple find their inner peace with God, I found mine with Mother Nature. It was incredible, drinking in tt magnificent view, those amber colored swirls that shaded the azure skies, those misty clouds that had an irrestible allure of its own, e seemingly endless horizons of e sea, those adventurous ships tt seemed to be venturing to long forgotten, farawar lands in search of e mystical gold...I felt like i was in e middle of paradise. Tt place held much cherished memories of me n Ric bt at tt moment, I knew wad was more impt was those memories nt of us but of me. I was e onli one left alone then n as much as i rem tis place with fondness, wad touched me more was tt i felt e place rem me too. I cud feel its sympathy, its empathy...e ger who had been there prior to tis visit was diff frm e ger who ventured there alone today. I felt I had conquered my sadness, overcame my emotions to brave e winding roads, deserted trails n steep slopes n most of all to come face to face with long forgotten memories.

Sat there for a while, jus immersing in e beauty of it all, telling myself I owed it to me to be happy. I was happy when i came with Ric in e past n i'm still happy even now. Gave it a last glance n ran off cuz din fancy starting on e descent in semi darkness..Dinnoe which was worse, e ascent or e descent...e descent was infinitely more dangerous, no chance of running or even jogging down...i had to walk, a slight stumble n one may jus tumble all e way down. Even though I walked, the incline of tt slope was practically gnawing at my knees. Ran e remaining winding road, came to Pasir Panjang n then ran all e way back to NUS, long run, to say e least.

Many things came into my mind during my run back, e most prominent thought was me wondering whether those irritating carollers had cleared e compounds, haha..kidding. That run to Kent Ridge Park was e best Xmas pressie I cud give myself for it represented a break from e past and gave me e tranquility n inspiration to search deep within myself for e thing tt had eluded me for so long, that sanctuary of peace...my abode of happiness. Santa's early tis yr...:)Merry Xmas to all my dear frens!

run run run

Forgot to add...after several days of no run..i ran 6.3km today, nt a gd one. Din feel gd, perhaps cuz had nt taken dinner n had slight diarrhoea b4 tt. Oh well..there's always next time, outz..

Frenship

Met up with Weiyi for lunch at NYDC at Holland V, tt dear boy made me wait for half an hr bt all was forgiven after he treated me to lunch..haha, kidding...We went to Iced Fuzion for drinks after tt. Had a gd time with tis gd pal of mine, he's a reassuring influence in my life, esp as i'm currently gg thr a difficult phase of self doubt complicated by frenship woes.... Self confidence dwindling to an all time low n i've started to qn my own character, wad i believed in n hw others view me. He put all my fears n doubts to rest by assuring me tt he had trust in me. It reallie felt gd to hear tt frm a gd fren. That was jus wad i need.

Haz, he is so comically frank...nt ego, jus so darn frank tt it's hard nt to laugh. He told me tt he felt it was strange tt no gers in NTU ever made e first move to make frens with him n he ltr gt wind of e fact tt e gers felt rather apprehensive n scared..haha, yeah, of cuz man...he's tall, gd looking, smart (dean's list material), rich n drives a flashy sports car. He is one fren who reallie makes much effort at keeping touch with his gd frens n i do appreciate his efforts, a pal i wanna keep for life. Will miss him whilst he's away in HK. He told me to be happier n i guess one way to commemorate tis frenship wud be to do exactly tt. I will be happy n this will be a happy Xmas..:)

ucks..

Jus saw those blackmail worthy pics of me drunk..... Juan sent me...I cringed.....ucks....this will go down as yet another "memorable" event in e annals of 2a history, i'm definite.

Dead Drunk

Sob...yeah, i noe i tend to ged drunk if i drink too much cuz i'm reallie nt tt gd at holding my liquor...but this is the FIRST time that i was so drunk tt whole segments of last nite were jus a complete blank in my mind. URrgghhh...i cannot believe tt i made such a fool of myself!!! Imagine this...i woke up n found myself on e hotel bed in darkness n i tot...eh..so strange, i din even rem gg to bed but anyway, i scrambled up to hit e showers n then felt hunger pangs n tot tt tis was even stranger given tt i had a reallie full dinner last nite. I stepped out of e shower n all e 2a'ers broke out into laughter. They kept askin whether i rem last nite n i was like...same old qn, cuz everytime i get drunk (which ain't tt often, i assure u), i'll still rem wad happened jus tt e details wud be hazy so i said, of cuz i rem, i laughed hysterically n went ard hugging pple, right? God....it was then tt they recounted e horrors of last nite to me...I gt dead drunk after downing 4 cups (haha, plastic cups) of vodka, i was a goner...n i nt onli laughed hysterically, i cried hysterically too, went ard hugging pple n towing pple by e neck, pulling their foot, saying things tt shud be left unsaid n of cuz had my head stuck in a dustbin cuz i was puking like crazy...They told me e contents of wad i puked weighed a ton, of cuz la...i had such a full dinner last nite....That vodka was power man to hv me concuss n have absolutely no recollection of tt ugly episode the next day...Yeah, it was 43% n i had 4 cups in abt 20 mins so i guess tt hit me real hard.

I'm still horrified...n those meanies actually took shots of me in those embarrassing postures....still reallie shocked by this whole episode...as i've said, it's jus reallie surreal to nt rem a single thing of it afterwards....tis shud serve as a warning to me. Norm, i onli ged drunk with the 2a'ers, being drunk with any other form of company wud be pretty dangerous. I'm still reeling frm e aftereffects of e alcohol, even nw, my head is spinning frm tt overdose of vodka...Mum will ged a shock when i tell her, hee hee, ringing her up nw to drop tis bombshell.....
Eh...so i missed out on e fun...e card playing, e gossips, e show!!! sigh....

Nt pleased with myself. Nt at all. Meeting Weiyi tml n then yc the day after.... feeling tired. Jus real tired...

A personal record broken!

Total time: 67 mins 27 secs
Total calories burnt: 667 calories
Total distance ran: 10 km

Yippeee!! I broke my personal record on e treadmill!!! The longest n farthest i've ever run on a treadmill....the farthest used to be 7km, today i upped it to 10km, a quartz of a marathon! Strange cuz i contemplated skipping my run today. Procrastinated e entire day abt swimming n when i finally decided, donned my swimwear, wore a baggy shirt over it n headed out. As u wud hv it, e moment n i repeat, the PRECISE, EXACT moment my foot was outta e hall, raindrops started falling. The cleaning uncle who was beside me actually gaf me a knowing grin n held e door open for me as i rushed back in. No, i din swear, i din curse, i din even grimace, okie, mebbi i did but it muz hv been a pretty one nevertheless... Changed outta my swimwear n then e rain stopped, okie, so tis was e pt where e vulgarities splewed out...nah...haha, i was calm n serene. Then heavy rain. Gd, swimming was out. Running was out. Where else cud a ger head in such weather? Simple. The gym.

Hee hee, i started slow at speed of 8, norm my speed ranges frm 10.3 to 10.6. Then upped it to range btw 8.5 to 9.5 before giving it my all at 11 during the last stretch of my 10km run. Hee hee... Feeling triumphant n happy, perhaps tt half marathon next Dec ain't uch a distant prospect afterall....*Just keep my fingers crossed n e legs running!*

Fogged n Befuddled...

Fogging gg on outside, hate fogging, least fave thing i can imagine rite nw... Stale air, bad ventilation cuz my windows r closed n binds down. Jus realised sthg, nvr knew tt crickets cud make so much noice even when it's nt nitetime. Reminds me of my earliest childhood days when i was under e care of my grandpa n grandma...out of desperate attempts to coax me to bed, they told me those crickets r bad, evil little beasts who wud pounce on u if one were so daring to venture outdoors after dusk n they often prey on naughty little kids who refuse to be coddled to sleep. Hmmm....perhaps tt's e eastern version of the boogeyman in the West....

Slept onli at 4 plus am tis morn, more due to e lengthy noon nap i took yest n woke up at 9am. A slight ache at my temple, jus glad it's not the major M thing..gt my laundry done n outta e way, i detest dg laundry, waiting for it to be done n dried so glad tt it has been done n over with. Jus ate an apple n it brought all my apple woes to surface again. Once upon a time, i was a worshipper of apples, regarded them with esteem as i found them pretty, reddish, crispy n crunchy little things tt was both healthy yet delicious (a rarity in e world of ood, indeed) They were called New Zealand royal gala apples. It certainly helped when i became aware of the "An apple a day keeps the doctor away" proverb, tt boosted my liking for e apples.That was a long long time ago....perhaps as long as 10 yrs ago or even more. Over e yrs, my reverence for apples went down n my disillusionment with them crept up a notch. Dunno why, they were jus too mushy for my liking, all e apples that cud be found in major supermarts were of disappointing quality so i stayed off them for almost a decade, of cuz an occasional one or 2 did find its way to my stomach but nvr did i return to those glorious days where i wud polish off 2 to 3 apples a day.

Recently, e situation took a reverse turn..after almost a decade. I stumbled upon some apples n was pleasantly surprised to discover that it was both crunchy n sweet, brought back fond memories of my past love relationship with this little red fellow. Yet, after a decade, I was cautious n tot perhaps those were the cream of e crop n tt the rest of the red fellows may nt pass e QC test. However, I was wrong n thus resumed my long neglected rs with the new kid on e block..Fuji apples....allow me to clarify, Fuji apples seem to be ard forever but call me senile bt i din rem them on e mkt 10 yrs ago. Yeah...then recently, my cousins intro me to the French counterpart of my past lover, NZ royal gala apples...French royal gala, they were pint sized compared to Fuji but though nt as crunchy, they were sweet enuff to warrant a nod of approval frm me. Needless to say, once i moved into hall, i bought 15 apples at one go, fully expecting myself to finish e batch in less than a wk. Bt much disappted to realise tt the std has gone down again, they shud take their cue frm QC frm Toyota to prevent their customers' satisfaction levels mimicking a yoyo. Fuji apples r enormous n though they r certainly crunchy enuff, they r nt sweet most of e time! I felt abit like a horse, muching mechanically on tis crunchy stuff with absolutely no taste at all n wondering wad i was dg, working my way thr such a disappting eat. Jus nw, I decided to gif Fuji another chance n gave it one huge bite with relish (tt relish was put on beforehand n nt e authentic one, hoping to cheat myself into believing it was nice) n it was then tt i realised apples cud suffer frm frost bite n incredulously enuff suffer frm frost bite in the chilling compartment of e fridge, i wasn't idiotic enuff to deposit them in e freezer.

Enuff said. Weird to blog so much on these red fellows. It was cuz they used to gif me such pleasure n tis tumultous relationship with them gt me mighty miffed so tot might as well ged it out. No more apples for me for a while...well, nt for a long time after i finish my current batch sitting in e fridge, anyway...sigh...Word of grocery advice: Nvr buy fruits in bulk, u nvr noe wad u might be getting out of them. N tt reminds me, bought loads of pears too n e verdict was nt satisfactory at all, tt means i gotta polish off nt onli unworthy apples bt unappreciated pears too...groanz....Call me a fruitarian anytime, i take tt as a dig...off for a swim soon, ltrz..

My first post?

Hmmm..def nt my first blogger post but given e fact tt quite a few frens hv been asking me for my blog address, i decided to set up another blog..reason why i din wanna gif my old blog add was cuz there were quite a no of emotional n therefore private entries in e archives which i jus din feel comfy with letting anyone else but me take a peep. But nw, yeah, all e entries r reallie bland notes abt my everyday life....so yeah, as Soph said, tis blog will enable my frens to be updated on my life, actually..

Was tokking to Soph jus nw cuz she asked me whether i'll be turning up for e history honours Xmas gathering n i was actually disinclined to turn up for it at first but on second tots, i tot perhaps i shud go? Inner struggle, reallie...felt a bit like the character I read in e 2nd book of e Gresham Chronicles, Mr Clay...hmmm...plus the all impt n paramount event of e yr...2a's 10th yr anniv...dun ask me why i'm nt gg. I'm nt too sure why either, perhaps disapptment with some frenships hv made me dev e notion tt i may nt thoroughly enjoy myself in such a big, social gathering n i reallie do nt wish to dampen pple's spirits. Like i asked Soph, am i retreating into reclusivity? Becoming a social hermit? I used to enjoy time alone by myself too but now, it has taken on a diff scale in tt i dun much wish to hang out with big grps n sometimes nt even single frens as well. Rather ashamed of e fact tt Weiyi, my closest guy buddy is leaving for HK on Dec 27th n he wanted to meet up soon after my exams ended but i jus kept procrastinating n delaying....It ain't a crime to enjoy one's own company of cuz, i'm jus saying tt it feels weird to shy away frm old frens n refrain frm making new ones. haha...tokking abt tt, Yuntian's donned on her matchmaking apparel again, tis time she intends to fix me up with this hcjc senior who's apparently gd looking n has a decent character...too bad i'm totally not interested in making new frens, esp nt those of e opposite sex. There's a vacuum in my heart, perhaps winter has come to it now n i hv no idea when it'll thaw but when tt time comes, i'll noe i'm ready n will embrace tt romantic side of life with ful confidence n hope but i noe i'm nt ready. Not yet. Not yet for some time..

Perhaps some updates on wad i did today.... Slept at 3 plus am tis morn cuz had drinks at Fong seng with Wen till 2 am then had to walk all e way back to hall...god, i do hate walking man...plus my knee has been acting up recently with e regular runs n it's reallie a torture walkin all e way back to hall since jus tt other day, i had to walk all e way frm Clementi back to my hall when one bus broke down on a one lane road....Cudn't reallie ged to sleep so i read for a while...had tt same terrifying recurring dream, sthg tt has haunted me ever since i was a little child... simply can't cast those recurring nitemares aside, they seem to be recurring with a scary increasing freq too. Cold nite..tossed n turned n finally had to switch off e ceiling fan n pull down e binds..woke up at 8 am n set off for Plaza Sing to catch Bridget Jones Diary...e ger at e tix counter gave me a weird glance when i told her one tix, hmm...perhaps tt's sthg i jus gotta ged used to frm nw on? Veri few pple in e theatre as i expected. I like e movie, relaxing n funny n of cuz romantic albeit predictable with e slapstick humour disdained by Na...nt one to be favoured by movie critics or those Oscar fogies, of cuz but i'm jus a simple movie goer who's single n cud do with some love in my love, screen love, tt is, hahaha...din believe in e love in e movie though...nt tt i'm a cynic with rgds to love n romance, more of a skeptic nw, a pragmatic skeptic, haha. It did melt my heart a bit, i admit...but thr out e movie, my eyes wud sometimes roll n i wud snort silently to myself..

Emerged frm e movie at ard 12 pm, lunch crowd everytime, listlessly wandered thr e shops, realised tt not interested in shopping for clothes at all, ended up in Carrefour, i simply love shopping in megamarts like tis, haha...loved looking thr e bakery n sushi section...bought some food as well, hall supplies running low, e usual stuff, tuna, bread, milk...(tried Daisy hi low, sux!! I'm gg back to my Farmland lowfat milk once i finish tis carton, perhaps i shud jus dump it)..yeah, i tried e spicy crispy chicken frm the stall selling the snacks frm e famed Taiwanese nite market, Shilin nite market....costs 3 bucks...reminded mysef i needed to stick to a healthy diet but tot heck la...i wanna tell pple i've tried it b4, hahaha...n yeah, as expected overhyped n din reallie appeal to my tastebuds...dun reallie much like meat anyway...

Gt back to hall, was so hot i half expected smoke coming out frm my nostrils n ears...gt back, tired out, laid on bed for a gd read n then slept till 7. tot of popping down to e lounge to watch telly but decided agst it n decided to bring my run forward, ran ard the 96 route, ran down to NUH n then went back to e track, ran 4 rounds n then laid on e huge mattress they hv for high jump, climbed up on e bouncy mattress n flopped down, staring at e huge expanse of nite sky above....sigh...no stars again, e bright lights in the campus jus blot out e stars..but as i once told someone, the stars will always be there for u, jus tt someties u can't see them...Jus thinking of tt brings comfort... today i din feel tt gd abt tis run..felt a bit fatigued...as i lay down looking up at e stars, i tot of tt time when i went to OBS when i was in sec 3 n after climbing the tunnel, our instructor told us to lie down on e grassland n jus look up at e stars..there were no glaring city lights there, it was total darkness n there were so many beautiful, sparkling stars i felt so blissful,serene n happy...nvr forgotten tt moment n nvr will. My other beautiful encounter with stars but one which has become a sad one in retrospect wud hv been tt time, the eve of V day last yr..tt was my first actual date with Ric, i guess, nt even a date, an impromptu one, he offered to come over to take me out for supper when he heard tt i had nt taken dinner n we ended up dabaoing NYDC cheesecakes to eat in Sentosa...we laid down on e sand too n e stars were beautiful as well. That was a threshold in my life...a veri impt one, a huge transition n i felt unsure, uncertain but at tt time, e stars were there for me n jus made everything seem so beautiful, simple n true. I guess tt was e nite when i sorta felt sthg for him n e stars bore testimony to tt special moment..Haz...jus look at me, i can jus go on n on abt stars...

yeah, anyway, after e run, came back for a bath n been surfing e net n chatting, tml intend to refrain frm gallivanting outside n staying indoors to do up my resume n to surf websites for jobs n stuff, time to ged my stuff tog. Since i'm nt dg thesis or ism, i shud do sthg abt my career planning...if i want a career in e future. Been hving enuff fun by myself, time to ged down to some serious work. Perhaps, i shud squeeze in a swim tml too, weather has been perfectly hot for a swim n a nice tan. Tis is a reallie long blog entry, norm, i dun blog tt long, wondered wad gt into me, it's a diff kind of feeling knowing that there'll be pple reading my blog entries but to tell e truth, i feel liberation too....Here's to freedom n liberation then..ltrz.