Carry me through.....

I'm in a much better mood compared to yest and feel much more at peace with myself today.
Perhaps, it has to do with the rainy weather that permeated our sunny island the entire day.
Or maybe, it was the fact that after slaving over my macroecons essay for half the day, I've finally completed it.
But most of all, I think it's cuz i rediscovered Kristin Armstrong's blog on Runners World.com.
I used to read her blog frequently back when i was still in touch with my running soul.

Suddenly remembered it this mornin, read it and that was it.
B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L
She never fails to inspire me.
Not just her commitment to running but also her gratitude for her life and everyone and everything she loves.
She wrote about a friend who used running to get over a relationship and hence now associates running with loneliness and heartbreak which was her friend has never ran after her heart has healed.

She wrote about running in the rain being liberating and allowing us to relieve our childhood days as we prance around the rain, stepping over muddy puddles.
That was exactly how I felt as I swaim in the heavy rain yesterday. The pitter pattering rain drops felt so good as it hit upon my face. The pool water felt warm as I surged forth with every stroke. I love dancing in the rain, splashing through water, getting my hair all wet and enjoying a nice, hot shower after that. The child in us always yearns for that but the adult in us requires us to put on a socially accepted facade. Still, letting go every now and then brings about so much fun and freedom. n i think we need that in our lives.

I know that I've turned my back on running and realised that not running has actually made me a less contented person. I have more grievances, I fail to see matters beyong my perspective, I doubt myself and my abilities. But most of all, I feel like I've lost part of myself.

I yearn to find that me again. The energetic, confident ger who could still find the strength and stamina to go for a 20km run with my training buddy after two gruelling hours in the gym. The one who signed up for every single race in the calender year and steadfastedly trained for it.

I've not gone for a single race this entire year. The Standchart Half Marathon will be my first race this year. Despite the fact that I've not trained for it at all, I'm determined to go for it. Crawl as I might, i simply hope to finish the race and find back the exuberation that I once used to indulge in after every single race.

And I think i'll go for a jog later, just to stretch out those legs of mine.
I want to jog past our future house and see how many stories they have completed.
The sense of anticipation should carry me well through the rain splattered streets... =)