Yest felt like I had taken Felix potion...the lucky potion in Harry Potter which guarantees the user one perfect day..
Reached my gym at1030 hrs n studied at e pool till 12, went for a swim b4 gg for combat. After lunch, settled down by e pool again for 4hrs of studyin. Went for an evenin run, gt bk n went for bodybalance. Yah, e personal trainer remarked to me as I was leavin my gym tt I was there for 12 hrs to which I nodded unabashedly..
It was a lovely day..I was rather productive in my studies n I finally managed to convince myself to go for an evenin run in the CBD. I kept askin myself y I was draggin my feet with rgds to runnin. I threw myself into swimmin instead n swam almost everyday, resultin in my disgusting chlorine stenched hair nw..I finally realised y yest...Running was jus so much more of an emotional activity den swimmin was to me. Alot of things go through my mind as I run. Whilst when I swim, all I do is figure out how to pump more oxygen into my starved lungs... hw to keep my legs straight, hw to glide more etc... Swimmin, being infinitely more technical in nature den runnin has tt wonderful ability to take my mind off everything bt e activity itself.
n of cuz e place where I usually run is nw fraught with memories of the past. It occured to me yest tt the Esplanade area was where I had my 1st n last date with Miles. Our 1st date was at Pierside Kitchen (I think....) n our last date was when we watched Swan Lake at the Esplanade. Nt withstandin e fact tt i had to run past his office n henceforth ran e danger of bumping into him, a possibility tt I was nt willin to entertain for nw. When we were tog, i'll wave at the Standchart building everytime i run past, ha...Being a creature of habit, I still do it now. A perky little wave..I indulged in a rather leisurely jog yest as I lamented over e fact tt my running route had been severely disrupted by the boarding up of the Kallang river area. Was jus commenting to Michael yest tt i miss those runs I had with him bk in the first half of 2007. It felt gd to hv company on my runs, n esp for a veteran to dish out running tips n to share his experience with various endurance events. Yest, perhaps cuz it had beens uch a lovely day, I finally felt ready to revisit my running route n... my memories as well...since more den a month has passed since we went our separate ways.
Figured it shud be safe to view this relationship in retrospect now n to put it behind me forever. I think there wasn't much grieving on both sides over e demise of this affair, probably due to e commonsensical notion we had right frm e start tt this was not meant to be. I recall tellin him b4 t i onli want to rem the lovely parts of our rs to which he cautioned against such an approach, pointing out tt if we gif the bad parts a miss, we wun be able to examine this rs in a rational fashion.Agreed with him on tt count if we were still tryin to salvage e relationship n be tog, cuz events viewed perpetually in rose tinted shades would inevitably lead one to make the wrong decision.However, nw that everythin is over with no prospect or desire to reconcile, I choose to just rem all the beautiful parts n tuck them into a sacred realm of my memories..
I thank him for making me realise tt i was capable of giving rather den simply taking from a relationship n for making me experience the bliss of doing so...N i felt fate had a hand in creating the opportunities for both of us to visit HK and Paris..for those places left indelible footprints in our heart tt we'll nvr forget. Those videoclips from HK and Paris still make me laugh whenever i view them n half make me wish with all my might tt I could go bk to those places, bk to tt time when we were still happily tog. Heard this line frm telly the other day, about how life is too short for one to carry their grievances with them. Totally agree...which is why I hope we both find it within our hearts to forgive each other for wadever pain we may have caused each other during those times tt we spent tog. Becoz even though happy memories were plentiful, memories of a different nature existed too..
During bodybalance class yest, the instructor Ben said sthg which struck a chord in my heart...As we were attempting to do realle challenging split, he said, "Our physical actions are manifestations of the other sides of ourselves. If we manage to let go of ourselves physically, this means that we are able to let go emotionally as well." Inspired by this notion n the ability to let go emotionally, i struggled to push myself down into a split but at an extremely painful expense...haha.. As we laid down for meditation, my thought were, as usual, filled with green pastures, wide prairies,trickling stream bt something was diff tis time round. t the end of meditation, Ben flicked on the lights one by one and told us to open our eyes gradually. At that instant, it felt like lightbulbs were turned on in total darkness...I suddenly had a flash..Our lives are illuminated with a lot of lightbulbs...these may be frens, our partner, our family, our job, our interests etc.. Sometimes, one lightbulb takes the centre stage and shines more brightly in ur life den ever. And when this lightbulb flickers and gradually dies out, it feels as if ur life becomes a shade darker...Bt there r always other light bulbs which, even if they do not move into the spotlight, will continue to light up one's life.
Yah, in all, it was a most philosophical bodybalance lesson I had, haha..
On an entirely diff note, besides being addicted to swimming,I'm hooked on Fruit Tree's apple and aloe vera bits juice as well, i drink it by the gallons nowadays! Today shall be a fun day, no exercise, no studies! though I'm still thinkin whether I shud head down for a swim b4 lunch.. Meeting Wen for tea and ZM for dinner. Frens whom I'm most comfortable with and miss alot...today shall be a perfect day ahead too!
