Of then n now...
A lot of things have happened in e course of just a month..
n it still amazes me...hw so much can change in such a short time frame..
It seems as if I've reached e threshold of yet another phase in my life...bt besides tough choices to make, I suppose wad's reallie holding me back is tt inner voice within me tt tells me I'm just nt ready to settle down.
The hurt still rankles deep down....
I'm nw listening to e Jay Chou cd which I always play in Ric's car...those days seem such a long long time away...
I suppose I still miss him every nw n then n will wonder hw he's getting on with his life, whether he's planning to get married soon etc..
Shan n Blind will be holding their wedding dinners end tis yr n I'll be one of e jiemeis for Shan's wedding...n it has suddenly occured to me tt even i I ever get married one day, it'll be at a later age...
Something tells me tt if I wan happiness, I wud hv to overcome my insecurities towards relationships n marriage...
or perhaps I'm still waiting for the right one to dispel all my fears n worries.
I dun like to love someone more than he loves me..I abhore tt.
n it still amazes me...hw so much can change in such a short time frame..
It seems as if I've reached e threshold of yet another phase in my life...bt besides tough choices to make, I suppose wad's reallie holding me back is tt inner voice within me tt tells me I'm just nt ready to settle down.
The hurt still rankles deep down....
I'm nw listening to e Jay Chou cd which I always play in Ric's car...those days seem such a long long time away...
I suppose I still miss him every nw n then n will wonder hw he's getting on with his life, whether he's planning to get married soon etc..
Shan n Blind will be holding their wedding dinners end tis yr n I'll be one of e jiemeis for Shan's wedding...n it has suddenly occured to me tt even i I ever get married one day, it'll be at a later age...
Something tells me tt if I wan happiness, I wud hv to overcome my insecurities towards relationships n marriage...
or perhaps I'm still waiting for the right one to dispel all my fears n worries.
I dun like to love someone more than he loves me..I abhore tt.
posted by Witchy at 2:24 PM
3 Comments:
Have you ever considered asking your ex out for a meal, just to find out how he is? You have overcomed many obstacles, such as the half marathon, and your studies, how about facing him once again just to satiate your curiosity and to face your own fears over giving love a chance again? Hope I'm not being over obtrusive :)
Gal, I hope u overcome ur baggage and settle down w someone nice, if u've found him :) And yup, I agree tt I dun like the idea of loving someone more than he loves me. Think it's a girls' ego thing. Heehee.
Hmm,have u ever wondered that it is actually a blessing to love than to be loved... think about it. Often one feels that it is a blessing to be loved than to love, because we have loved and were hurt in return. However that is not very true... why? Think about the last time you ever had a crush on someone or the last time you ever did something very sweet for that special someone. One may realise that you were happy... why because it is a greater joy to share your love than to be on the receiving end. Think about the last time someone had a crush on you, or someone was exceptionally nice to you, but you realised that aren't interested. Were you happy? or was it bothersome? So how can being loved be a blessing? To love or be loved will indeed be a blessing when it is mutual, but maybe to love will bring one more joy than to be loved... :)
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